


A Snowball to the Heart

by shaeheda



Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Genre: Fluff, clurphy has all the makings of a enemies to friends to lovers trope okay?, dont come for me, i said what i said, i'm a hoe for all things clurphy, jake griffin is alive in my house, the angst is there if you squint, this ship is just one of several hills i'm willing to die on
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-20
Updated: 2019-12-20
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:20:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21878023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shaeheda/pseuds/shaeheda
Summary: “So where are we going exactly?”“Well, hurling snowballs at your enemy is pretty taxing and I’ve had a shitty day so we’re going to get some hot chocolate,” she said as she opened the door to the cafe.“Hot chocolate? What are you? Twelve?” he teased.“Don’t mock.” She looked at him sternly. “Hot chocolate is the ultimate cure for shitty days such as today.”She walked up to the counter and placed her order, “one hot chocolate with cinnamon and whipped cream please.”“Well, I did get hit in the face with a snowball earlier so, make that two.” He placed a ten-dollar bill on the counter and turned to find them a table.ORThe one where Clarke is throwing snowballs at people she hates and Murphy is just an innocent bystander.
Relationships: Clarke Griffin/John Murphy
Comments: 12
Kudos: 67





	A Snowball to the Heart

**Author's Note:**

  * For [shipping_enthusiast](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shipping_enthusiast/gifts).



> this is a little gift for the loml ariel 💖 happy chaotic cord secret santa! enjoy!
> 
> feel free to find me on tumblr @shaeheda

John Murphy was not the type to get excited about the holidays, he was essentially a modern-day scrooge or so his friends liked to call him. The only thing he enjoyed was the break from classes and the fact that he usually got the campus to himself, but winter break was still three days away so until then he’d go about his day being his usual grumpy self as he walked through the campus courtyard. Of course, he couldn’t even be left to stew in his distaste for the holidays in peace.

The shock of being hit in the face and the glacial temperature of it froze him in place. _‘What the fuck?’_ he thought. It was like someone threw a glass of ice water in his face and essentially that’s kind of what happened. He looked around the courtyard for the culprit who threw the snowball that him in the face when he saw a flash of blonde hair duck behind a tree a couple of yards away.

Murphy walked up to the tree where the assailant was hiding and heard hushed whispers of _‘shit’_ coming from behind the trunk. With a clearing of his throat, a petite blonde had emerged. 

“God, I’m so sorry,” she blurted. “I was actually aiming for someone else entirely, I didn’t even see you.”

His annoyance faded the longer he looked at her, he got a real glimpse at how beautiful she was and he was suddenly very thankful for her terrible aim. He drank in the way her blonde waves peaked out from beneath her beanie and how the maroon color slightly resembled the tip of her nose, a stark contrast to her blue eyes. Warmth flooded through his chest and he couldn’t quite explain why or what it meant other than he was in deep shit. 

He leaned with the corner of his lips upturned. “My name is actually John Murphy, but you can call me Murphy or god works too.” He tried his best to come off casual and he hoped to god it worked.

“Funny,” she scoffed. 

He couldn’t help but wonder what his name might sound like on her lips. Would it be gentle and sweet like the peppermint mochas he secretly liked to drink this time of year? Would it fall off her tongue flirtatious and slow? Or would it be demanding and crisp? If he kept talking to her maybe he would find out.

“If you weren’t aiming for me then who were you aiming for?”

“I was aiming for my cheating dickhead of an ex.”

That wasn’t the answer he had been expecting at all. Everything about her screamed entitled princess who always got everything she wanted, from her clothes to the confident way in which she held herself. So it surprised him that this was her reaction when something hadn’t gone her way. 

“Which one is he?” he questioned.

While she was distracted trying to point out her ex, Murphy had subtly gathered a decent amount of snow in his hands and packed it together. She jolted the moment the snowball hit her cheek. His lips curved into a satisfied smile and a bubble of laughter escaped him as displeasure coated her features.

“Jerk!”

Murphy held up his hands in surrender. “It was only fair,” he said with a laugh.

His breath stayed dormant in his chest as her features hung on to her anger and for a moment panic shot through him. All he wanted was for her to tackle him in retaliation so they could playfully roll around in the snow before he would eventually kiss her. He spared a glance at her lips. He thought about what it would be like to kiss her, how her lips would feel on his and how she would taste. Her laugh broke his train of thought and it was the sweetest sound he’d ever heard. He never wanted her to stop laughing, or smiling for that matter because seeing her smile was radiant and bright on an otherwise dark day. 

Professor Jaha had one hell of a superiority complex and Murphy only had so much forbearance. He probably could have gotten by had it not been for the fact that he woke up late and the barista at the coffee cart who gave him the wrong order. By the end of the fifty-five minutes, he was practically twitching to get out of that lecture hall before he said something that would knock him down a grade.

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Jaha talking with one of the kiss-ass overachievers that sat in the front row of his Comparative Religions class. Without thinking he bent down and started to gather snow between his hands.

“Hey! I thought we were even, what are you doing?” she asked.

Murphy looked up at her and smiled. “See that guy over there,” he nodded in the direction Jaha was standing, “If anyone deserves a snowball to the face it’s him.”

“Professor Jaha or Cage Wallace?”

Sure enough, the kiss-ass that had been talking to Jaha was, in fact, Cage Wallace. When Murphy suggested both she got this glint in her eye before she crouched down next to him and started to gather snow. They counted down to one and hurled their snowballs at their targets. Hers had hit Cage Wallace square in the face, while his hit Jaha in the chest. 

In one swift movement, Murphy had pinned her behind the oak tree to avoid being caught, at least that’s what he told himself and what he would tell her if she asked. He took a peek around the tree trunk to see if they were in the clear and was relieved to find both men were too stunned to even wonder where the ammunition had come from. 

When he looked back at her he was suddenly aware of just how close they were. Shallow breaths passed between them and Murphy could’ve sworn he saw her eyes steal a glance at his lips, but it was too quick for him to say with certainty that’s what happened. She pushed passed him briskly and looked back like she expected him to follow her.

“Come on.” Apparently, that’s exactly what she expected.

“Why would I go with you? I don’t even know your name,” he protested.

She rolled her eyes in response before she shouted back, “My name is Clarke Griffin, now are you coming or what?”

Truth be told he would have followed her regardless. Her beauty was alluring in a way he had never experienced before, like a siren calling him to his death. He had known her all of ten minutes and yet he longed to know everything about her. It wasn’t just attraction in the way a guy sees a girl in a bar and thinks _‘hey she’s hot’_ , he was in the kind of heady trance that pulls two opposite ends of a magnet together. If he wasn’t careful he would fuck this entire thing up.

“So where are we going exactly?”

“Well, hurling snowballs at your enemy is pretty taxing and I’ve had a shitty day so we’re going to get some hot chocolate,” she said as she opened the door to the cafe.

“Hot chocolate? What are you? Twelve?” he teased.

“Don’t mock.” She looked at him sternly. “Hot chocolate is the ultimate cure for shitty days such as today.”

She walked up to the counter and placed her order, “one hot chocolate with cinnamon and whipped cream please.”

“Well, I did get hit in the face with a snowball earlier so, make that two.” He placed a ten-dollar bill on the counter and turned to find them a table. 

Clarke walked the hot chocolates to the table Murphy selected and placed one in front of him. This was beginning to feel an awful lot like a date, not that he would know seeing as how he had never actually been on a date. That made him sound really pathetic and he supposed it kind of was. It wasn’t that he never dated, he’d had girlfriends before, well _a_ girlfriend but eventually like most things in his life that all went to shit. 

He met Emori one night in a bar and from that moment on their relationship had mostly been nights indoors, tangled limbs on the couch while they binged Netflix. They sometimes ventured out into the real world, though it was usually only to pick up food from their favorite Thai restaurant or to hang out with Emori’s cousin, Echo. He loved her, she was essentially the only family he had but he had too much of his own shit going on that wouldn’t allow him to love her in the way she deserved to be loved so they decided to remain friends. She moved on and was in love with her girlfriend Raven and he was happy for her.

If it was a date, thinking about his ex was the last thing he should be doing. 

“So, what’s got you drowning your sorrows in a cup of hot chocolate?”

She chuckled. “The cheating ex I mentioned earlier, I had to find out in front of a mess hall full of people when his dirty little secret came storming in demanding to know who I was.” She took a sip of her hot chocolate before she added, “I’m also pretty sure I tanked one of my finals.”

“Well, your ex is a fucking prick and it sounds like you need something stronger than a hot chocolate,” he quipped.

“Oh definitely, and after my last final tomorrow that’s exactly what I plan on doing,” she smirked.

The sheer idea that this might have actually turned into a date scared the ever-loving shit out of him. They couldn’t be more different and really, why would a girl like Clarke ever want to date a guy like him. It all kind of seemed too good to be true, like it was some fucking grand ploy of the universe to lure him into a false sense of security with her smile only for it to be ripped away later. 

“Okay enough about my crisis, what’s your story?” she prodded.

“What do you want to know?” he asked.

“Everything.”

“Well that’s kind of a loaded request,” he chuckled. “I’m studying to be a lawyer, to help the people who can’t afford one of the big fancy hotshots.”

Clarke just listened to him intently and without judgment as he vaguely skirted around talking about the kind of trouble he used to get into as a kid. He couldn’t bring himself to tell her about some of his more serious charges when he was living in abusive foster homes or stole food for the younger kids on the streets that time he ran away from foster care. He wasn’t under any illusion Clarke thought he was some blameless saint, but someone as privileged as she was probably had ideas about how the world worked and he couldn’t bring himself to shatter that for her. Maybe one day, if this ‘date’ went well and they decided to see each other, become friends or more, he would tell her when he thought he might be able to handle the look of pity in her eyes that would eventually follow the story of his childhood.

“Sounds like you’ve got it all figured out,” she smiled.

“I wouldn’t say I’ve got it all figured out.”

“Well, you know what you want to do, which is more than most people can say, I think that’s at least a start.” she shrugged.

He had never been good at taking compliments or praise.

“What about you? What do you wanna do when you grow up?” he joked. 

“When I grow up? Are you saying I’m not a grown-up?” she asked with an eyebrow raised at him.

“Well, I met you because you were throwing snowballs at people in the courtyard, that’s kind of childish don’t you think?”

“Okay point taken. I don’t wanna sound like the typical privileged white girl but, I think I want to pursue art. My mom has kinda been hounding me to follow in her footsteps and go to medical school but I see how exhausted she is all the time and that’s just not something I want for myself. I know it’s probably stupid-”

“It’s not stupid,” he said reassuringly. “If you found something you love doing, you shouldn’t settle for anything less.”

Her smile caused his heart to beat erratically in his chest, so much so he thought at one point it might fly out completely. His palms were sweaty and cheeks flushed and he thought maybe he could have caught something earlier in the cold and frigid air. He didn’t want to believe Clarke had this effect on him. He needed to do something to stop whatever the fuck was happening to him. A change in subject would have to suffice, if anything it would provide the distraction he needed to push whatever was happening to him to the back of his mind where it belonged, never to see the light of day.

“What kind of art do you do?”

She talked about her love of painting and charcoal portraits and that was the extent of what Murphy understood about art, but he let her continue to ramble about things he didn’t understand so he could watch her eyes light up and her smile widen. He could have stayed like that for hours.

“What?”

She had caught him staring at her and he internally panicked. He had gotten so caught up in how beautiful she was when she was talking about something she was passionate about, that he didn’t notice when that she had finished what she was saying. 

_‘Fuck what do I do? Shit, shit, shit!’_

“You have whipped cream, uhm,” he said as he motioned to his lip.

“Oh!” She made an attempt to wipe the non-existent whipped cream from her lip. When she was unsuccessful like he knew she would be he grabbed a napkin and tentatively reached over to do it himself. 

_‘Fucking idiot,’_ he chastised himself as he pulled his hand away.

If it wasn’t for the blush that crept up on her cheeks he might have been convinced she thought he was a fucking idiot. By the smile on her face maybe he wasn’t a complete lost cause.

“So tell me something no one else knows,” she said.

“Well if I tell you, then I’d have to kill you.”

“You’d have to catch me first,” she said playfully.

There was a glint in her eye that gave Murphy hope, hope that maybe she was interested in him the same way he was interested in her. They managed to let three hours pass by filled by Clarke with stories of her childhood and by Murphy with the few happy memories of his parents that he had. It was hard to believe they had only met a few hours ago, with all they had shared it felt like he had always known her.

When one of the employees informed them the cafe was closing, he offered to walk her back to the dorms. They filled the silence with flirty banter and Murphy caught a glimpse at what dating her might be like. When they arrived in front of her door an unfamiliar feeling started to pool in his stomach. Murphy wasn’t the type to get nervous, no that’s not what it was, it was like his skin was set ablaze with anticipation. He thought from the moment he laid eyes on her he had her figured out, but every step of the way she had proved him wrong. He couldn’t predict what she would do next or what she wanted him to do and not being able to figure her out was starting to drive him crazy.

“Let me see your phone,” she narrowed her eyes at him.

He watched her intently as she punched in what he assumed (*hoped) was her phone number and snap a quick selfie before handing it back to him. His phone felt heavier than ever before. A girl like Clarke was way out of his league, by a long shot.

“We should go out when we’re both back from break,” she smiled. “I promise we can get something a lot stronger than hot chocolate.”

The promise to see her again sparked something in him and for a minute he thought maybe he should lean in and kiss her or that she would lean in to kiss him, but when she didn’t his heart twinged with disappointment. Clarke seemed to be the kind of girl that went for what she wanted and it was stupid of him to think she was looking for something more than friends when the only reason they met was that she was trying to hit her ex with a snowball instead of him. He should have known she wouldn’t want to get involved with someone so soon after she found out she had been cheated on.

“Well I’ll be here all break, so whenever you get back I’m all yours,” he said flirtatiously.

“Wait, what?”

“I’ll be here all winter break,” he replied.

“You’re not going home?” she asked.

“Orphans don’t have homes.” 

By the look on her face, it didn’t come off as playful as he intended. The look of pity on her face was what he had been trying to avoid.

“Well it’s settled then, you’ll come home with me for winter break,” she said defiantly.

It took him a few seconds to recover. “You realize you just invited a total stranger to your house for Christmas? How do you know I’m not a serial killer?” he asked.

“Oh please, we just spent the last few hours swapping embarrassing childhood stories, you’re harmless John Murphy.” 

That was like a blow to his ego, he thrived on being intimidated and feared by others, but somehow from her, he didn’t mind. God, she was going to completely ruin him and probably have him saying thank you by the end of it all.

“You know you kind of got the whole rich princess thing down, first you ordered me to get hot chocolate with you and now you’re ordering me to go home with you for winter break.”

“You’d be doing me a favor, my mom is less likely to bug me about pursuing art if we have a guest,” she said.

“I don’t know if that argument really helps your case.” He leaned in, closing some of the distance between them, a little more than he intended to. He swallowed down his nervousness over their close proximity and tried to play it off. If the smirk that appeared on her lips was anything to go by he didn’t do such a good job. 

“You’re really leaning into that whole future lawyer thing, huh?” She crossed her arms.

“I’ll take my practice where I can get it,” he smirked.

“Okay, well if helping a friend isn’t enticing enough, then maybe a good home-cooked meal will because if you stay here you’ll be subjected to shitty mess hall food.”

“You have a point there.”

She smiled at him triumphantly. “So it’s settled then, I’ll pick you up the day after tomorrow and we’ll hit the road.”

“Woah hold on, I haven’t said yes yet.”

“Yet being the operative word, we both know you were going to cave so why put off the inevitable?” she shrugged.

“Are you sure you don’t want to be a lawyer?”

“Are you sure you do?” she countered.

Before she disappeared into her dorm room she threw him a wink. As he made his way down the hall he decided to text her saying he’d go with her. The more he thought about it the less appealing spending Christmas alone in the dorms became. She sent him a smug _‘I told you so’_ response and all that he could do was chuckle.

Clarke was a hurricane and he knew he didn’t stand a chance.

* * *

They pulled up to Clarke’s house and it was even bigger than he imagined. He figured she was rich, just not _that_ rich. The house she grew up in was like nothing Murphy had ever seen. It was three stories with a wrap-around porch and way too many windows for his liking, though exposure probably wasn’t an issue when you had enough money to have 10 acres of land all to yourself.

He spent the previous day packing and thinking way too much about all the reasons why this was a really bad idea, now there it was staring him in the face. He didn’t belong in a place like this and he certainly didn’t belong with a girl like Clarke. 

When they got out of the car to grab the bags from the trunk a slender brunette woman appeared on the front steps. Clarke shut the trunk and led the way to her front door. The closer they got the more Murphy was able to see the resemblance and could safely assume the woman standing in front of them was her mom. 

“Who’s this?” she asked as she made eye contact with Murphy over Clarke’s shoulder.

He shifted uncomfortably under her gaze as Clarke introduced him.

“Mom, this is Murphy.” 

He reached his hand out to her. “Hello Mrs. Griffin, it’s nice to meet you.” He wasn’t sure why he bothered with the pleasantries because he was pretty sure she didn’t want the likes of him anywhere near her daughter. 

“Clarke you should go inside, your father has been asking if you’re here yet every hour since he woke up, I’ll help your friend with the bags.”

“You don’t have to Mrs. Griffin, I can get them,” he said

“It’s no trouble and this way I can show you which room will be yours,” she replied. She picked up Clarke’s duffle bag and headed inside. She paused at the bottom of the stairs. “And please, call me Abby.” She had a surprisingly warm smile and he wasn’t sure if it was genuine or if she was just really good at faking sincerity. 

An hour had passed before there was a light knock on his door. He walked over to open it, a little taken aback to find Clarke on the other side, though he didn’t know why this was her house after all. 

“Hey, sorry about ditching you earlier, it’s been a while so I had to say hi before he spontaneously combusted with anticipation,” she laughed. “I hope my mom wasn’t too weird or anything.”

“Uh, no she was fine. Don’t worry about ditching for me, my original plan was to spend Christmas alone remember?”

“Well lucky for you, you’re stuck with me now.”

“I don’t know if I’d consider myself lucky,” he joked. Of course, he did, girls like Clarke Griffin rarely gave him the time of day, yet there she was smiling at him, even flirting maybe.

“Oh shut up, you know you enjoy my presence better than any video game you’d be playing if you stayed at the dorms.” She grabbed his hand and began to tug him down the hall. “Come on, we’re making cookies and decorating the tree, it’ll be fun!”

Murphy didn’t know how much faith to put in her statement. Christmas had never been a big deal to him so it was strange to have her pull him down the stairs in such an excited manner. He’d be lying if he said it wasn’t cute. Her enthusiasm was a little infectious as he felt a small amount of excitement bubble within his chest.

When they got to the bottom of the stairs he made eye contact with who he assumed was Clarke’s father.

“Dad, there’s someone I want you to meet,” she said as she pulled him into the kitchen. “This is Murphy.” She had this beaming smile on her face when she said his name and it sent his heart soaring in his chest. This was unlike anything he ever felt with Emori and he wasn’t sure if he could keep it at bay much longer. 

He turned his attention back to Clarke’s father and got a better look at him than he had the first time. He took note of the oxygen tube in his nose, the way his eyes were sunken in and the lackluster color of his skin. It wasn’t a look that was unfamiliar to him. One look at Jake Griffin and he was ten years old sitting at his mother’s bedside all over again. He reached out to shake his hand and push down the unsettled feeling that took place in his stomach.

Murphy steadied himself and said, “It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Griffin.”

If he didn’t know the signs to look for and if it hadn’t been for the oxygen tank Murphy probably wouldn’t have known her dad was sick, he hid it well. A warm smile appeared on the man's face and he could see the resemblance to Clarke.

“Call me Jake.”

Murphy responded with a smile as Clarke started to mill about in the kitchen gathering ingredients for the cookies she mentioned earlier. A lot of what she was doing was lost on him, he was a decent cook but a shit baker.

He watched as Clarke and her dad started to mix the ingredients together. Despite the condition of her father, there was a light atmosphere that coated the kitchen. It was the polar opposite of his time with his mother. 

“Murphy, would you help me bring up the boxes of decorations from the basement?” Abby asked.

He didn’t trust his voice so he just nodded in confirmation and followed her to the basement. She pointed out the boxes that he needed to move in order to get to the ones with the decorations.

“So how did you and Clarke meet?”

In all honesty, he figured the interrogation would have started a lot earlier, he was surprised her mom held off as long as she did.

“Uhm, she hit me in the face with a snowball in the campus courtyard,” he smiled fondly at the memory. “Though in her defense she was aiming for someone else, I’m just lucky she has terrible aim.” 

Abby raised her eyebrows at him and he realized what he said. He didn’t think backtracking would do him any good. There was a glint in Abby’s eye like maybe she wasn’t completely put off by the idea that he might like Clarke. 

“So you met at school then? What are you studying?” she asked.

“I’m hoping to be a lawyer if everything works out.” Truth be told he had a long history of things going wrong, saying with certainty that he was actually going to be a lawyer just felt like tempting fate.

“That sounds like a noble profession,” she commented.

It wasn’t that he was trying to dissuade her from liking him, but he was nothing if not honest. “I got into quite a bit of trouble growing up and got stuck with a lot of public defenders, some better at their jobs than others, one of them, her name was Indra, she kind of put the fear of God in me so I cleaned up my act and started working towards where I am now. I’d like to help people the way she helped me.”

“It’s good you learned from your mistakes, some people never do. I’m sure your parents are very proud,” she smiled. 

It seemed like a genuine smile and he didn’t have the heart to correct her, at least not now, with the state her husband was in. He thought maybe Clarke would have told her parents to explain why a complete stranger would be joining them for Christmas, but based on the confused welcome he’d received earlier that day maybe she hadn’t told them he was coming at all. His mind started to spiral. She had referred to him as her friend earlier, hadn’t she? When he thought back on it he realized that no she hadn’t, she had introduced him as Murphy and nothing more. It was clear he had been reading too much into what they were.

“Is it just these two boxes here?” he asked.

Abby simply nodded so he stacked them both in his arms and started to head back up the stairs.

“Murphy, I’m glad she has you.”

Apparently, he wasn’t the only one reading too much into things.

Once he got to the top of the stairs it appeared he had perfect timing, Clarke and her father had just placed the first batch of cookies into the oven. She turned around and spotted him almost immediately.

“Oh great you’re back, come on I’ll show you where the tree is,” she said excitedly.

He followed her to the living room and set down the boxes in front of the tree. Clarke’s parents entered the living room seconds later.

“Honey, why don’t you and Murphy decorate the tree? Your father is a bit tired so I’m going to sit with him on the couch and keep him company,” Abby said.

“Dad are you okay?” 

The worry in her tone caused his chest to tighten. He wished there was something he could do to comfort her, let her know that he understood what she was going through. As she stepped closer to her father with a concerned gaze he felt like he was intruding on a personal moment.

“I’m fine, besides I don’t want to stand in the way of Murphy’s first Griffin Tree Decorating Extravaganza.”

“My first what?” he questioned.

“Your first Griffin Tree Decorating Extravaganza!” Clarke said enthusiastically.

“You say that like I’m supposed to know what it means,” he quipped.

“It’s exactly what it sounds like, we decorate the Christmas tree,” she stated.

“And the extravaganza?”

“We get tipsy on my mom’s eggnog.” She smirked at him.

He turned to look at Abby and sure enough, she walked in with a tray of eggnog. She must’ve slipped away to the kitchen without him even noticing. He grabbed a glass from the tray she offered towards him and took a drink. 

The night went on and it was like something straight out of a movie. He watched everyone around him as they smiled and cracked jokes with one another while he began to place ornaments on the tree. Had it not been for Clarke he probably would have felt out of place but she was magnetic and he couldn’t bear to pull himself away.

Several times throughout the night Clarke spared her father a concerned glance as he pointed out where certain decorations belonged on the tree. After an hour Jake was visibly exhausted and Abby decided to call it quits for the both of them and retreated upstairs with her husband in tow to go to bed. 

They stayed up for a few more hours to finish the tree while talking about trivial things and before he knew it the night had stretched out to just past midnight. He bid her goodnight before they made their way upstairs and parted ways to their separate rooms. 

When his head hit the pillow he knew sleep would evade him. He couldn’t stop thinking about how the more he got to know her the more it felt like he was walking into a house only to realize he was home. Like for once, the stars had aligned for him, well they would have had he believed in fate and all that other shit. For now, he would enjoy the way he felt peaceful in her presence for as long as it lasted. The calm before the storm.

* * *

The house had been coated in silence most of the day. Abby was called into surgery in the early hours of the morning and Jake had been in bed resting, which left Clarke and Murphy to mill about the house and entertain themselves. The Griffin’s would be throwing their annual Christmas party the next day and Clarke used that as an excuse to stay inside and be lazy all day, she called it mental preparation for all the mind-numbing conversation they’d be subjected to. She had taken to sketching on the couch while Murphy read a book on the opposite end. As the day went on it shaped into one of those lazy days that Murphy loved and rarely got. It took him longer to finish the book then it should have, but with her sitting across from him looking as beautiful as ever who could blame him for getting distracted every ten minutes.

“Okay, that’s it I need to get out of here.” Her voice startled him. 

“What?”

“I’m going stir crazy just sitting in this house all day, I need to get out of here,” she said standing up off the couch.

“And go where exactly?” he asked

“I have just the place.” She started heading towards the stairs, presumably to change out of the pajamas she had been wearing all day. “Are you coming or what?”

She had this way of ordering him around, but he didn’t mind at all, in fact, it was one of the things he liked most about Clarke. She knew what she wanted and she went for it with this confidence that he admired. He went upstairs to the room he was staying in to quickly change out of his sweats. There wasn’t much time to fret over what he was wearing and if he looked okay enough in the dark jeans and white shirt he paired under the layer of his zip-up hoodie and denim jacket for wherever she was taking him.

He’d never once been the type to get nervous. While she drove to the bar he thought about how he was used to things not going his way, it’d happened often enough that he just learned to roll with it. This was different. The stakes were somehow higher but he didn’t know why. She pulled into a parking spot with an urgency that frightened him slightly. They got out of the car and with every step they took towards the bar, the knot in his stomach tightened. His nerves started to creep upon him. _‘For fuck sake, pull yourself together,’_ he thought. He needed alcohol and he needed it now. He opened the door for her and his stomach flipped several times over. What the hell was this girl doing to him?

“So what can I get you to drink?” he asked.

“Surprise me.” She beamed at him with the most beautiful smile he’d ever seen and every worry he had dissipated. “I’ll find us a table.” And just like that she was off, she walked through the bar like she owned the place, though with how rich her family was he wouldn’t be surprised if she did.

Murphy made his way to the bar thinking way too much about what a girl like Clarke might drink. She seemed way too down to earth for a fruity cocktail and much too refined for something as simple as beer. He figured he’d be safe with jack and coke so he ordered two. While he waited for the bartender to return with the drinks he tried to think about how this outing was just two friends hanging out, an attempt to calm his nerves, but it was useless because he didn’t want to be just friends, he could only hope she thought the same. 

He returned to the table with their drinks, nearly dropping them the second she smiled at him.

_‘Get a fucking grip man.’_

“Since you’re basically an enigma, I took a shot in the dark and got you a jack and coke,” he said.

“That’s perfect,” she replied. “This is one of my favorite places in town.” He watched her as she looked around the bar likely taking in anything that had changed since the last time she was there.

He sat down and gave her a quizzical look. “A bar is your favorite place? Maybe I should take you to an AA meeting instead.”

“Oh shut up,” she laughed. “It’s my favorite place because it’s where my dad took me for my 21st birthday and I practically drank him under the table.”

He could sense where this was going and made an effort to lighten the mood. “Now you’re just begging for me to take you to a meeting.”

“The house was too quiet and I just started thinking about what life is gonna be like without him and I had to get out of there.” She looked down at her drink.

“It’s hard at first, really fucking hard,” he said. Her head jerked up in surprise and she looked at him curiously. “But eventually it gets easier. I know that sounds cliche and stupid but it’s the truth. The pain of missing him won’t ever go away, it’ll always be with you, some days worse than others, but eventually the pain becomes bearable.”

“How do you know?” Her voice sounded so small at that moment and he regretted piling all of that on her the way he did.

“My mom, she had cancer, died when I was 11.” He took a sip of his drink and swallowed down the memories of finding her dead one day after coming home from school. “I know you’re this strong independent woman who can take care of herself, I think our first meeting is evidence of that, but it’s okay not to be strong all the time or feel like you can’t deal with it on your own and you know, I’ll be around if you need a shoulder to lean on or whatever.” he tried to sound casual like it wouldn’ be a big deal to him if in her time of need he was the one she chose to turn to.

Clarke offered a smile at him. “Good because you couldn’t get rid of me even if you wanted to.”

Of course, he didn’t want to get rid of her, the universe would have to pry her from his cold, dead hands.

His phone began buzzing incessantly and he tried his hardest to ignore it, but whoever was on the other side just couldn’t take a hint. He turned his phone over to look at the screen only to find a string of texts from his roommate Jasper. He hastily typed out a response to leave him alone and then turned off his phone for good measure.

When she asked him what had gotten him all worked up he huffed out a response about how Jasper had needed the parts from his alarm clock to fix a robot he and his best friend were working on. 

“I take it you guys don’t get along,” she chuckled.

“He’s more like the annoying little brother I never asked for,” he corrected her. He loved Jasper, but he would ever admit it out loud.

The rest of the night had followed in the same fashion, sharing stories of their friends to the point where Murphy had felt like he knew all of her’s, she was so open about everything and it made him feel like he was an integral part of her life like he was someone special to her.

The bartender handed them their tab and told them they were closing. He didn’t realize how late it had gotten or how tipsy he was until he stood to go pay the bar tab. The chill of the winter air sobered him slightly as did the feel of her arm wrapped around his. 

“Shit, I’m not sober enough to drive us back and with the way you’re wobbling neither are you.” He chastised himself for not paying attention to how much they had been drinking. He prided himself on being the rebellious but secretly responsible one. He always let loose just enough that people couldn’t rely on him for rides home or to take care of them if they got too drunk but responsible enough that he could step in if a situation escalated and he was needed. He had gotten so caught up in being with Clarke that the outside world stopped existing to him and he let loose completely.

“Relax, I called a cab while you were paying for our drinks.” She leaned against the brick wall as they waited for their ride. 

The cab pulled up and once they got in Clarke gave the driver the address, rested her head on his shoulders and closed her eyes.

“You’re not falling asleep on me are you?”

“No, I’m just resting my eyes,” she said with a sleepy smile.

“Sure, you are.” 

By the time they’d gotten to her house she had indeed fallen asleep and he had to nudge her awake. He paid the fare and they both got out and made their way inside the house. He locked the door behind them and followed her upstairs. He watched as she sleepily trudged up the steps and disappeared into her room with a fond smile on his face.

* * *

The next morning, afternoon technically, he woke with a slight headache which was nothing compared to his earlier college days. He smelled coffee and immediately hopped out of bed to head downstairs for reinforcements. 

When he got downstairs he was greeted by Abby who was seated at the breakfast bar looking over a newspaper.

“Good morning, I was wondering which one of you I would see first,” she peered over the paper as he made his way to the coffee maker.

“Morning, I take it Clarke is still asleep?”

“I believe so, she’d probably sleep the whole day away if I allowed her to,” she smiled.

“Yeah we kind of lost track of time last night, I think we were out a lot later than we both intended to be.”

The doorbell rang and she got up from her stool to go answer it. She stopped next to him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“That’ll be the caterers, you’ve got a couple hours before the party starts so feel free to browse the library and make yourself at home.” She gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze before walking away.

The party was in full swing by the time he made it downstairs. He had changed his shirt three times before he settled on the light grey button-up he was wearing. He paired it with a pair of dark blue jeans and black blazer, it was the nicest thing he packed though in his defense he hadn’t expected Clarke’s family to go all out and host a soiree. He felt extremely out of place until his eyes found Clarke’s, suddenly it was like he was exactly where he was meant to be.

She must have sensed how awkward he felt because she made her way over to him almost immediately after spotting him. The closer she got to him the wider her smile became and if this party didn’t have his guard up he might have been fooled into thinking she liked him. 

“Are you as ready to make a break for it as I am?” she asked in a hushed tone.

“I’ve been here less than five minutes,” he replied.

“Oh, that’s enough time believe me.” She grabbed his hand and began to lead him to the kitchen. “Come on, we’re definitely going to need a drink.”

He was thankful Clarke had the sense to suggest drinks first before they braved the crowd of people. He’d come across one too many strangers that were far too interested in a five-year plan he didn’t have.

The faces and conversations started to blur together in that mind-numbing way things tend to when you’re pretending to enjoy something. If he was going to make it another fucking second he was going to need another drink. 

Murphy weaved his way through the crowd of strangers to the kitchen where Clarke had shown him the secret stash of alcohol, because really who the fuck doesn’t supply alcohol, it was a party for god’s sake. He had lost Clarke to some distant relatives of hers earlier in the night so he’d decided she’d probably need a drink as well. He turned around to grab two glasses when he heard them.

“It’s probably just one of those bad-boy phases girls go through.”

“Maybe it’s a pity thing, maybe she feels sorry for him, I heard he’s an orphan,”

“Well if that’s true that’s very kind of her, Clarke has always been a nice girl, let’s just hope it doesn’t go any further, she’s far too good for him.” 

He was frozen in place and the voices began to fade away along with the rest of the party. None of what they said weren’t things he had been thinking since the moment he met her, but it was different to hear them out loud from people who didn’t even know him, who were only making irrational judgments about him based off a few anecdotes they’d heard in passing.

“Hey.”

He heard her before the numbness faded away and he was able to feel her hand on his arm.

“I need to go.” He didn’t offer any further explanation. Even if he could come up with something he didn’t trust his voice not to crack. He simply brushed past her and headed for the stairs.

He faintly heard _‘Murphy, wait.’_ from somewhere behind him, but he didn’t stop, he couldn’t. He’d made it to the top of the stairs before he felt a hand grip his elbow and spin him around.

“What happened?” She looked at him with that same concerned look in her eye she had given her father the whole week.

“Nothing, I’m just done being your fucking charity case.”

“What? What are you talking about? I never said-”

“You didn’t have to, I heard plenty from the people downstairs.”

“Look, I don’t care what anyone thinks, not even my parents, though for the record they’re really fond of you,” she said with a smile. “All that matters is that I like you.”

The heat of her gaze was too much, he broke their eye contact and that’s when he saw it because of course, they had to be standing under a fucking mistletoe. Her eye’s followed his line of sight and he thought for sure she would laugh and walk away, but instead, Clarke surged up onto her tiptoes and placed her lips on his. It was slow and soft and yet somehow passionate, a contradiction much like them but better than he dreamed it would be. He wanted to pull away before he lost himself in her completely when he did he felt dizzy. Clarke Griffin kissed him, better yet she said she liked him and then kissed him. 

“Did you just kiss me because of the mistletoe or because you actually like me?” he prodded.

“Both, I’ve been wanting to do that ever since you pretended to wipe whipped cream off my lip, the mistletoe just gave me the courage to actually do it.”

“You get courage from a plant?” he questioned

“Well if you reject me I could just blame it on the spirit of the holiday,” she replied. 

He watched as she wrung her hands nervously and when she bit her bottom lip he nearly had a heart attack.

“Well, for the record I like you too,” he declared.

“I was hoping you’d say that.” She wrapped her hand around the back of his neck to pull him in for another kiss. Time stopped, he didn't care about the people downstairs at the party or what they were saying about him, it was just the two of them that existed in that single moment. 


End file.
